Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honour. Proverbs 29:23




They never really knew me,

If they thought that I was happy inside,

I was desolate.

And haunted by these images,

Of things that were once real,

In the past.

If they thought that I had plans,

They were wrong,

For I’d nowhere to go,

Nor was I making plans.

In fact, I was doubting life,

And trying to know that I was really alive.

The only times when these feelings were valid,

Was when I was laughing or crying.

Singing and dreaming.

But it’s always hard,

To find that euphoria that for the past year,

I’ve been searching for.

And instead, found a new one.

And now, I’ve been searching for peace.



I should be glad,

That for no reason whatsoever,

I finally managed to weep.

When for so long,

It seemed like it would forever,

Be contained and bottled up.



Tomorrow is when it will all begin and I will have to decide what to do. However, I’ve decided this time I won’t be extreme and I will definitely not be a coward. I will simply just be the girl who doesn’t care. The huge problem will be not to conform and not to panic I’m sure. What with all the pressures I encounter, I guess I have to be prepared. But there would be no Winter thrill if I didn’t experience the salad of emotions I do on a regular basis. Though for the most part, it truly does pain me and with last year, I had some scars left behind. I learnt something as the Summer sun approached, and it was like I’d never lived before. I just hope that I will learnt to accept true happiness for what it is. I hope that I can stick to one thing, to know purity and not a distorted version of it. To not be afraid of what is terrible and to embrace my hurt. And though this is all a lot, I know it is enough to last me for these dark days because it is only just the beginning.



I think like the weather in this climate and how it changes so quickly, my mood is like it too. I think that I have to accept it when I’m sad, even though I may be at the lowest point. Even though it may seem cold outside and I feel that I’ll be frozen in this moment of despair, somehow I have to believe that the Sun will come back and thaw me back to Grace. And when times are hard, the trials seem overwhelming, outside is turbulent, I have to hope that it will become clear and pleasant once again. When I am drained of life, I have to know that the rain will quench me and give me purpose. I need to know and believe that the burdens I face are nothing that I can’t handle because it is the assurance that comes from God above…



In another life, I am the villain. And the person that I hope to capture in some photograph is the dreaded me.

In another life I no longer dance among the stars, instead I glide across the blue skies of Summer days.

In another life, I do not have the pout that everyone tells me to get rid of, instead everyone praises my beaming smile.

In another life, the ones around me aren’t in conflict, they are sitting on thrones of peace in their dominion of glory.

In another life, I have not yet come to know the meaning of shame and yet at the same time I know what it is.

In another life, I do not have the many scars that I’ve acquired in my toils, but faded memories of a nostalgic ordeal in a world of bliss exist.

In another life, life is sweeter than honey and as pretty as a picture, but here the colours are painted with greys and blacks; monotone sets the scene for my life.

In another life, I haven’t cried yet; I’ve only laughed and smiled,

In another life, the person I am now is the person I will capture in a photograph.



All those years I’d heard her cry,

And I’d pray and hope that she’d stop,

That she would stop crying,

And continue living her life,

With us by her side.

But it took me too many years,

Of pain and torture, I alone endured,

The walls that I was trapped in,

And the streets that raised me,

To understand why I could no longer,

Tell her that it would be alright,

And instead,

Join her in her weeping.



Truthfully, I’m scared for the winter that will come. I’m scared for the cold that will surround me. But moreover, I’m scared for the coldness I’ll see in the neighbourhoods around me. Summertime nights, rolling into the car park, eating out late, 2AM and I can still smell the smoke wafting up our windows from the house in front. All in my mind is fire. But in winter, as night hits by 5PM all the doors are closed, curtains drawn and the wind beating against the windows is all I hear. I’m scared, to wake up and see the grey sky. Because honestly, it reminds me of the dark days when I couldn’t speak to you. But I’m praying this time, that we won’t repeat the dark days…let’s end the silence.



You know, she always used to tell me,

“When I was young I could’ve been anything,

I ever dreamed; I could make,

My wildest dreams no more fantasy,

But a reality.”

Her eyes dazzled like a thousand diamonds,

When she spoke about it,

And she wiped away a tear as she spoke.

I could feel the memories of her youth,

Emanating into the room,

Turning it from the desolation it was,

To a kingdom.

So I wondered at this freedom,

She possessed and imagined her,

A ruler, an empress,

But she told me after,

“…Even with all this,

The one thing that I could never achieve,

Was my happiness.”


The Unforgettable #20

“It’s always good to know the world is beautiful when you’re happy, but it’s even better when the world looks beautiful when finally, you’re happy.”


The Unforgettable #19

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