I’m tilting my head back as I
place my burdens behind me
I can’t hold it forever, the bowl of my mind
overflows but water pours in thunderously
because there’s a worry anew
a memory unearthed from the soil of memory
haunting and harrowing from midnight and beyond noon.
How much pain can a human take
for the cracks to manifest and bring heartache?
I might as well walk with a noose around my neck.
Because you do a bad thing
and the world is unforgiving
because nothing good stays forever
temporary is their charity, eternal their anger.
If you slice me, you know, I know I will bleed
blood doesn’t choose to stay in the body
and I wait for the day of my release
from my skin, from this prison cell life
getting up day and night, taking the train
is not far from being in hell
and you need to take a pill of ignorance
to pretend like it’s worth being here.
Let me say it, because you kill me when you
tell me keep it in,
it’s my worldview.
So what if bullets and blades can destroy?
Depression is like that horse in Troy
once it’s in us, it plays games of havoc
but slowly, like a ten year conflict.
I know depression better than ever
it’s a parasite
and its cuts you off from paradise.
Don’t pretend like you have love to give
you’re the same people who laughed when I tried to live
when I shed my stories in vulnerability
but you laughed at my misery
and your chuckles meant I didn’t deserve to be heard
because I lacked beauty and brains, the right words
that would make you stop and listen
but it’s too late, I’m changed and I won’t be in perdition.
My heart went cold
because of abuse and your mentality.
Get used to it, this is the world.
Sad truth about the mortal coil
but numbness makes it hard to cry
hard to be human, I want to die.
I wish I could but my soul is barren
my womb too, I weep alone and slit
and dies the flow of the poet who knows it.
Leave a Reply