A man's pride shall bring him low: but honour shall uphold the humble in spirit. Proverbs 29:23


There’ll be no more crying in my dreams 

waking up because I can’t breathe 

wishing I could sleep forever or not at all

because when I wake up I realise you’re not here 

and the world doesn’t look the same. 

I wish I was dead & I say it with a reason.

You made my life feel innocent 

you made our home in India feel like paradise

every day and I keep thinking about you 

angry that I couldn’t find it in myself 

to say the last goodbye 

you were right there in the palm of my hand  

I feel like I’m paying for my sin of ignorance 

I knew that day when you’d be gone was close

just didn’t know it was going to be that day. 

I can’t look at my pictures back before 2020 

they just remind me of you 

all the scenes on the station and the roads 

a big journey to December when we packed our bags

to go see you in the warmth of our true home. 

I miss you & it’s the fact that I won’t hear your voice 

that hurts because I keep asking God 

to tell you ‘I love you’ & ‘I miss you’

but I feel like you haven’t got the message 

and I blame no one but myself 

for being reckless. 

I just want to know I’ll see her again 

I can be happy if I know this.

When I’m with you in heaven is what matters

I want to see ma smiling again 

and us 4 laughing again like it was before 

the world turned upside down. 

Death has a whole new meaning 

when someone you know has reached it. 

But my God is a God of the living and not the dead 

so faith in God is the only joy I have 

everything else is vanity under the sun 

I wait for the new Earth and the new Kingdom

when we’re together with God. 


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About Me

I didn’t die.


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