EXULANSIS

Is it a curse that I’m fated to walk beside you?

May my words be like nuclear bombs 

and clear the way. Yes, clear the way for me. 

Drums as the backdrop to my poems 

they shake the waves but I write not for praise 

praise to the MOST HIGH. 

I’m stuck here Dear Heavenly Father 

this world is not where I’m meant to be 

all my friends have abandoned me 

and I’m starved of light and love.

I’ll admit I wasn’t free I settled for the least 

it was just a spotlight but I made it out

to be a supernova. 

But deep down didn’t change in me, 

I tried to stay me and when I even didn’t know

who I was I decided I would trust God

who alone knows me. 

No one is my friend here anymore. 

I have no one and I’m trying to adjust to this

my life keeps getting emptier

my body is losing its blood

and I don’t really care if this moment was my murderer.

I used to read my words with adoration

now I run away, I cringe and pretend they’re not my own. 

The wolf has chased me away. 

I only have one place left, it’s with 

you Dear God.  

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