Death wish

Why are you living so carefully?

You don’t even care about your life. 

And all the people that tried to convince you otherwise 

only made the death wish stronger. 

Lana Del Rey’s singing ‘Oh Say Can You See’

and I wanna go back to the first time I heard it. 

I know we all die but those were the days. 

This song and Velvet Crowbar

you take me back to a time that was simply glorious. 

I’ll see her again? 

I cry for her soft and silently. 

I cry in my sleep, I can’t even breathe

waking up wanting to talk to someone 

thinking my friend is mad at me 

too afraid to be vulnerable to Rose 

so I just write it out in a poem. 

Not a day goes by without her in my heart. 

AMMAMMA I want to see you again just once. 

You know what’s so beautiful about a person? 

Someone who carries on with that brave face

even when their heart is soaked in mourning. 

But I can’t handle this

I’ve never lost someone like this before 

the woman who raised me & educated me 

those memories so deep in my youth 

I can’t even remember them.

I was 4 when I came to this cold country 

and for a long time I never wanted to be here 

let’s go back to the land of colours 

because cold countries have cold people

everybody here lives like an animal. 

Say everything in your heart before you’re dead. 

I will go out with a blaze and I can’t wait to die

or until God comes back because 

I don’t care about this life anymore. 

I’m not here to be mediocre like those schs kids. 

Death is just the door to forever. 

themeekarestillhere