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themeekarestillhere

Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honour. Proverbs 29:23

Month

February 2017

PARADISE TO PRISON

What does my paradise look like? Will it be enough to make me happy? Or should I start looking somewhere else? More importantly what consolation will I find when I am broken-hearted. I don’t want to escape anymore but rather I want to be happy without having to worry about the situations I know I’m in. What’s keeping me alive is becoming a burden to me… I know that I am trapped. No one cares more than they want to. I don’t know what to do; it feels like I’m living in a prison and I just cannot get out.

✾themeekarestillhere✾

INDIAN MOON

INDIAN MOON

It is here above the clouds at night that I feel the loneliest I’ve ever been.

Could I simply reverse, or fast-forward it like a movie so I could get to the part where I am temporarily satisfied,

But my life isn’t a movie, it is a story.

For now, the story is unfinished, constantly changing due to the changes I experience everyday.

When the darkness is made beautiful by tiny lights glowing across an expanse, I am filled with hope.

But, at least for the moment, dreadful thoughts flood my mind, incapacitating me, filling with gloom.

The music is always blasting in my ears; I try to get closer to God because I need Him more than ever.

Something inside of me, whatever you call it, a glimmer of hope, good sense or morality prevents from doing the unthinkable…

✾themeekarestillhere✾

Paranoia

The Unforgettable #16

“Maybe most of us just don’t know acknowledge the possibility, but perhaps we’re all trying to live a dream. And perhaps reality is the result of our dreams clashing with one another.”

✾themeekarestillhere✾

The Unforgettable #15

Paranoia

I don’t know. I’m not so sure. I’m on the verge of something great but I manage to lose it every single time. It seems like the thrill of each day is trying to watch something being built only to watch it come crashing down. And I can’t ask questions, I don’t know which path to take. Wondering the possibilities of the future ahead but seeing nothing. Daydreaming when in the moment. Losing each and every opportunity, and praying when all seems lost.

✾themeekarestillhere✾

ELLIPSISM

ELLIPSISM

I can’t describe it…it almost feels like the world is slipping away from us…is this what death feels like. No, death would be better than this. I feel like it is the end; some sensation inside of me and I know that inevitably something will happen. This is the chance where I make the big choice. Maybe this is it. This could just be the final scene before the end, before what we see now fades away. This moment is sliding away from us, like water running through our fingertips. It feels scary, it feels empty… it feels eerily calm. I want to sit down, possibly escape all of this, it is a nightmare that never ends… but at the same time I want to scream and stop this, knowing that whatever I do, there is no stopping this.

✾themeekarestillhere✾

Over The Years

The Unforgettable #15

“When we know that those who love us only wish the best for us why do we continue to reject them for our own pursuits. Why would I be here if I wasn’t part of some plan that was part of an even bigger plan?”

✾themeekarestillhere✾

The Unforgettable #14

Over the Years

The tragic thing is often the things we anticipate are far from reality. And when we find paradise, which is a temporary relief, it’s rarely satisfying. When I was little, I remember being so happy and just wanting nothing more than to laugh about things. People thought that it was an inappropriate thing for a little girl like me who should’ve been quiet, calm and demure. I couldn’t really care less. I kept on disobeying the behavioural standards but with each opposing blow I was getting weaker. No one ever cared about my talents or understood my concerns. They just reminded me to shut up and concentrate on getting done what was in front of me. And I did. I wondered what it would be like if I just gave in to the enemy. That moment from now is a very big jump. It changed the way I see things forever. The good thing was my originality remained and some humour still existed. So I decided to use these ‘talents’ of mine to make myself happy. That meant I had to work on them so that they were almost perfect. The challenges I face now wouldn’t be bearable for my past self, only the ‘scarred’ me can handle this.

✾themeekarestillhere✾

Worry

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