Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honour. Proverbs 29:23


January 2016

It’s Really Just Fake to Me…

It’s finally time to go back to school. Time to get serious about your studies, embarrass yourself immensely in the gym and start to work towards our friends and family’s expectation in the new school year.

But you know what I really despise about school? They tell you that:

“…you’re supposed to be comfortable at this school, learning is supposed to be fun. We aren’t here for the money, we want to help you and we are going to do all we can to help you succeed in life.”

But why does it all seem to be so artificial every time?


I’m in a new school now. The students are more academically competitive and I’m ready to face all the discouragement and criticism which will inevitably come in my way this year. I’ve faced a lot of tough times in education and I know it should be that way. Because I’m a firm believer that when you want to do something serious, you have to undergo all the burdens of being the subject in that scenario.


Like Holden Caulfield, I hate the ‘phoniness’ of so many today. I remember how he says that watching them being so far from their raw self can ‘make you depressed’ and today on the first day of school I began to re-experience that distaste for all that artificial and fake personality of so many students.


People expect smart kids to be really original and all but that’s the problem with society. Being smart and being wise are two different things. A lot of smart people today just want to help themselves and they’ll abandon anything society tells them to abandon in order to achieve their dream. The aims of a lot of students at these schools are to get into university, do some course that is viewed as honourable in their culture, get a job and spend their lives depending as if money is all that matters.


Ever since I was little I really couldn’t get it through my head why I needed to work so hard..? I thought that I would be more than happy working at a convenience store with $10 an hour pay. And I kept saying that to my family and it was shrugged off until things got serious. But in all truth, between the two lifestyles I’d rather work at the convenience store. I will never sacrifice pure happiness for reputation. Again, your childhood rants are just something your parents let you play around with until time catches up with you. And when it does, we forget that sense of being original.


I feel like growing up is the time when we start taking the steps of conforming to society’s standards and start becoming fake or a certain ‘person’ just to please the crowd for that cash. It’s cliche, but money can’t buy you happiness. And I think that this is what separates the wise from the smart. The wise know that money cannot let them experience the pursuits which make them happy. And instead, they endeavour on their own journey to experience that in a way where they put their passion and soul into something for that prize in the end.


And I’m not calling myself superior over the ‘smart’, I too have had many stumbles in my life and still falter. Who doesn’t? But every-time I think about what really is important, I don’t care about my dignity or what people think of me. I just get really depressed when I see a generation of kids growing up, losing their sense of originality and being want others what them to be.

That’s all; I’m stating my opinion. I guess I wanted to convey this in my ‘Thoughts on The Catcher in the Rye‘ post but I was probably too overwhelmed to fit it into words.



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Beautiful, My Childhood

Maybe when I’m older I’ll say,

That life isn’t so bad.

I can go anywhere.

I’ll go searching to relive a new experience of pure happiness,

Like nothing matters anymore.

If it ever did.

At nights I’ll spend my days pondering,

Crying because no-one understands my silly dream.

I’ll lie awake in the early hours of the new day,

Looking at the beautiful view of the violet sky,

Being grateful for the dusty window of a dysfunctional room.

Water and the roof over my head.

And I’ll think back,

Childhood days.

Knowing now I’m not a child,

Waste my days being a day-dreamer,

I’ll take pleasure of being a girl chasing after invisible dreams.

Until they realise.

Relive my glory days.


And I’ll wait for the terrible destruction to finally end all the imperfections.


Click here for Simple, Look Deep.


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Simple, Look Deep…

I’m not from here.

I came from somewhere else.

I flew across the skies,

Wide awake journeying above the seas,

A land of opportunities,


This is not my home.

It’s never been.

I feel dry.

Cold and waiting for warmth,

And so I’ll wait.

For now it is all just temporary.

I cannot wait for the door,

That door that will take me on a new adventure.

And my thoughts,

They are my friends,

But they are also my enemies.

At times I feel like I’m somewhere happy,

But I am reminded that you can’t fight reality.

I look back on everything,

There is nothing to value except faith in God.

Why cannot it all feel real?


Click here for Momentary.


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Thoughts on The Catcher in the Rye

Well I guess it’s about time that I tell you about this book. I did mention it on my blogging series which you can check out here. And I was planning on getting to do a book review on The Catcher in the Rye, so here it is.

I finished the book on the 30th of December 2015. It was written by J.D Salinger who died at the age of 91 in 2010. J.D Salinger’s most popular work has to be the The Catcher in the Rye which was published in 1951. The story focuses on a rather normal teenager in New York, Holden Caulfield aged 16. As I started the book, I thought he was just a character that J.D Salinger invented, but as I began to learn more about the author I saw a very large representation of his character in Holden Caulfield.


In a way, it’s very painful to talk about the book because I guess it means that much to me. I’m not trying to be cliche. I really do hold great respect towards the writer and what he was trying to convey. I was reminded of how easily innocence can be destroyed and how Holden Caulfield expressed that with his sister Phoebe, the ducks in Central Park during wintertime, his friend Jane Gallagher but mostly himself. Clinging onto purity and originality seemed to be a big deal for him.


But the reason why it pains me the most to talk about this book is because it is so genuine. Especially the ending of the twenty-fifth chapter where Holden is watching his sister Phoebe on the carousel as it is raining. And he doesn’t mind the rain at all because he feels and knows that at last he is content with the way things are.


He talks about the struggles of being in a thriving society, feeling the social pressures of conforming to their social standards. And all throughout the book, this amusing Holden Caulfield takes you all around New York City, a city in his mind drowning in all the artificial things of the world. His contempt for the phoniness of some people, his desire not to just have to like someone but want to respect them.


When it comes to beautiful things, I’m not so articulate. The beauty is so overpowering that I can’t really manage to fit it into words. But all I know is that it’s probably one of the best literary works I’ve ever read and probably will ever read.




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The people who walk this Earth,

Offer a story,

A message.

People who walk the streets,

All dressed up,

Cover their experiences.

Individuals who seem happy,

Cover the horrors inside.

Deep down,

They all,

Know something,

Look at something,

Unbelievably different.




Believing them.

As their shadow speaks.

A glimpse through the silhouette.


Click here for The First of Me.


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The First of Me

Human nature is absolutely amazing but at the same time disappointing. It’s in our nature to often disregard the things we see everyday. We disregard the roof over our heads, we disregard the company of family and friends. People of my age are prone to viewing themselves as unworthy of the public. We disregard our remarkable intelligence, the brilliance of our youthful bodies and our skills and abilities which mark us and make us different to others.

We are so consumed by the world and its influences. We are often worried about our finances, schooling, work, careers and friends which today don’t act at all as true friends. We have little time for the important things in life which we’ve been born to do. Instead, we regard hectic, time-consuming activities of our day like work, shopping, chores and meetings of paramount importance as to spending time with our family. It’s sad but it is the reality.

I was just thinking that after the Christmas and New Year season had passed, many of us would hardly ever spend time with the ones we love, with those rare occasions. And I get it, your work is very important to you. And there is nothing wrong with worrying over it, in my opinion, until it starts to become a very large part of you. When apart from normal human necessities, work is the other side to you. When we become so antisocial the thought of bonding and the existence of a family vanishes completely from our mind until someone or some thought will put itself in a place of clarity that he/she will finally step out of the life they’ve allowed themselves to get too used to.

But that’s not always the case. There won’t always be a thought or a someone to ignite the feeling or passion of having the company of human affection and care which brings out the best in you and me. Have you ever heard of the porcupine story and how it tells us that to be together is better than to be independent? The porcupines found out that though they had warmth when they were together in the cold winter, their prickly backs were offering anything other than comfort. They decided that it would be wise to leave each other and be alone. Soon though, they discovered that they much preferred their previous position. Even though there were the very unimportant drawbacks of their warmth, all that mattered was that they were safe and comfortable at least from the cold of winter. In the end, they were just as they were at the start. But today, many people haven’t come to that position just yet.

Sometimes we don’t realise all the good we have until it’s gone. And it’s so important to know that God has kept you alive. He’s given you things to be grateful of, to be generous of, to be happy of. He’s given you emotions to use at your will in the right way and in the right time. He’s given you a personality, to share and show so that others may come to understand you and socialise. But mostly He gave his One and Only Son to die on the Cross for our sins. And despite everything we had done to reject him because of our ignorant nature and our desire to be independent like the porcupines, the King of Kings with the wisdom that we could not fathom wholly submitted Himself to the cruel death on the Cross. Praise be to the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, there is indeed no-one with a greater Love than Him.

But while we are in this world, we need to remember that it is not a safe place. There is so much evil residing in every corner. We are under constant attack spiritually, tempted to cheat, lie, hurt and disobey the Voice of God. We are deceived by the rulers of this Earth who take all of the goodness and purity in this life, in exchange for money and reputation. And some may say that work doesn’t have to be hard, some may say that they love work. But can you honestly say that and not tell me that there was not one day that felt completely miserable…after all we are human. It’s okay to admit that we aren’t happy with the things in life, but we have one thing that we can be thankful for and it’s Jesus Christ.

I know that people don’t believe in the existence of God, but his fingerprint is everywhere. He is God, He is omniscient and He loves you. He is coming soon, the days are dark and everything that is corrupt is attacking us. We need to submit to Him. Christians today are persecuted, we are ostracised from the world and despite our attempts to share our testimonies people ignore it. We are not fools, we are Children of the Living God. And some reading this may simply just want to earn money and just want to be liked. You may say, that I’m going over the top. But I’ve seen lots of people in high places with loads and loads of cash, unwilling to spend even a small dollar on the homeless. I know that if I become so concerned about my life and not entrust it in the hands of someone who already has a great plan for me, then I’ll end up like them. What has the world become?

For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?

Mark 8:36

I know I am just only a little girl, not even an adult, but from what I’ve seen in others who believe they’ve everything they will ever need in life, I know that that is definitely not the future I am paving for myself. I’d rather let my Father in Heaven lead me.

Happy New Year and May God Bless You!



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